Alternatestuck: Lives of the other selves
by WolfNightV4X1
Summary: Short stories featuring different ships because of the fact that it IS possible in canon (Thank you Hussie). Random events and stories that happen during the ships voyage as the other selves of our main homestuck cast interact with one another.
1. LOTOS: Part 1

_This fic features Nepkat, EridanxEridan, and Erisol. Enjoy!_

You are now Karkat.

Alternate Karkat that is, you sigh deeply as you lean against the hull of the ship, the ship bobs rhytmically on the ocean and the salty scent carried by the wind makes you sigh. You have no idea why your on this shitty voyage in the first place, but something compels you to be in the frontlines of some freaky dangerous suicide mission. Why the fuck would you want to die twice, you miserable little shit? Nevertheless, here you are on a navy manned by the big bitch herself and that Meenah chick.

Since tons of your alternate friends, plus yourselves, somehow willingly joined into this suicide plan for who the fuck knows what reason, everyone's tried to sort out all the alternate selves based on the time periods they have died, which isn't easy, pretty fucking impossible actually, because people lie or don't know or just don't give a damn. That was just a lame rule set up by Kankri, because Captain Mindfang couldn't give a damn about any of the alternate selves. Hell, you don't even know who your own friends from your time are anymore, so you stopped giving a fuck. To be honest maybe this suicide mission will be worth it, you can stop worrying your nubs over this confusing...

Just then Nepeta walks over tentatively, she seems kind of nervous but speaks

**:33 - Um, hello Karkat, you s33m puretty grumpy. What's on your mind?**

**WHAT'S ON MY MIND? WE'VE BEEN ON THIS SEA VOYAGE FOR DAYS WITH A MILLION DUPLICATES OF EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO'S WHO, HELL I WONT EVEN KNOW MY OWN SELVES ANYMORE**

**I MEAN, WHICH ONE ARE YOU? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM? HOW COULD WE EVEN TELL EACH OTHER APART?**

**:33: It's not so bad, **

**What do you have do be so angry fur?**

**Sure we all look the same and all but inside we're a bit diffurent**

**Even our other selves have something that makes them unique. Purrhaps you're special in a way no other Karkitty is.**

**You just n33d to find it. **

**WELL, I GUESS.**

**I'M SURE YOUR PROBABLY RIGHT, IT STILL BLOWS MY FUCKING MIND LIKE A GOGDAMN EXPLOSIVE, **

**BUT WHAT THE HELL,**

**FOR ONCE LET ME JUST SUBMIT TO THE POSITIVE REASSURANCE OF A FRIEND AND DROP ALL MY PARANOID PROBLEMS THAT WILL PROBABLY BE THERE FOR ETERNITY**

**...WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE...**

**KARKITTY? DID YOU JUST CALL ME KARKITTY? WHY WOULD YOU GIVE ME SUCH A JUVENILE NICKNAME, WHAT's THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?**

**:33- Oh...um...sorry, it's pawbably best if I**

**Maybe I should...**

**Karkat...Even befur I died I wanted to tell you this**

**/.../..Meanwhile../.../**

You are now, of all people, Eridan. You stand against the doorframe as you watch those two lowbloods chatting it up. You shake your head in disgust, you can't even go outside to enjoy your ocean turf without a few trolls engaging in some rom activities. It makes you sick.

You go back inside in a huff, stomping your way through the ships creaking wood floors, you probably disturb the four other trolls from your "time period", but who glubbing knows who these guys are. You force your door open to your cabin and gasp, staring at two of your alternate selves. They are both sitting at the edge of a recuperacoon together and gaze at you wide eyed.

**Eridan 1: Wwhat the actual fuck, me's!**

**I'm the only one allowwed on this ship, wwhy did you twwo evven decide to stowwawway?**

**2: Quite honestly, its none of your damn business Eridan! Wwe'vve been wwanting to get awway for some time, and wwe both decided it best to run awway from both our respective parties,**

**3: Noww we can stay together on one ship**

**1: Wwhy the glub does that matter!?**

**Givve me a reason wwhy you twwo are here, a real reason**

**3: Wwell, its a long story**

**2: Eri, just put it in simple terms**

**Just spit it out, its easier that way.**

**1: Wwhat's easier?**

**Wwhat kind of carp do you twwo have goin dowwn?**

**3: Eri and I have decided to become matesprits**

**1 Howw? WWHAT? ARE YOU GLUBBIN KIDDIN ME?**

**Isn't that gross? You're both me! That's...just wwrong, howw could I evven think of doin such a thing**

**Evven if you're other me's**

**I mean, cod I'm not the desperate am I?**

**That I wwould succumb to that levvel **

**3: Calm dowwn Eri,**

**2: We get it, it's fuckin wweird, but theres a reason for this**

**Look, I thought it wwas strange at first too.**

**But for the years that I'vve been in the dream bubble, I found that all the fefs I'vve tried to wwoo into lovvin me wwouldn't even bother**

**Same thing happened wwhen I tried to rekindle our hatred wwith Vvris, they all ended in failure**

**3: Same here, I tried to find lovve or wwar. I've evven tried wwith Tavv, Eq, Kan, evveryone I could think of**

**But then I found myself, and this wwhole glubbin time it wwas that easy**

**2: Think about it me, We both like magic, although it doesn't exist**

**3: But there's wwhite science! The ultimate powwer in the univverse!**

**2: Cod! You need to teach me!**

**Anywways, wwe both adore the arts of wwar and military conquests and wwe both hate faygo and despise lowwbloods**

**3: Theres more I can teach, besides wwhite science, if you if you knoww wwhat I mean 3;)**

**2: Oh, wwe're going that wway noww are wwe?**

**1:Ugh! Wwhatevver**

**I guess that makes sense**

**Its still so wrong, I dont think Ill evver forgivve myself. But go ahead and make a fool of myself, you'vve convvinced me which is the sad part**

**Guys! Stop makin out in front of me, Im standing right here. Oh cod! This is awwkwward...yet...**

**Sollux: HOLY 2HIIT AMPORA!**

**WHAT II2 GOING ON HERE?!**

**1: SOL!**

**Wwhat the glub, wwhat are you doing here? Why did you burst into my room!**


	2. LOTOS: Part 2

_Some Gamtav, more nepkat, eridanxeridan, erisol _

You are now Gamzee

You sit on the edge of the ship as you watch the other boats roll on by, slamming a faygo and thinking how life was a motherfuckin miracle. You think death is pretty wicked too. Death man, some kick ass miracle.

You see a ship sail by, it's your moirail and the catgirl, you wave your hand around that has a can of faygo, the fizzy substance sloshes everywhere!

**Gamzee: HONK!**

**:O)**

**Karkat: HOLY SHIT GAMZEE! DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?**

**gET OFF OF THERE!**

**Nepeta: :33 Huh? *AC whispurrs to herself in a furustrated manner. So close!* Karkat?**

**Karkat: SORRY NEP, I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THIS IDIOT**

**GAMZEE! **

**GET OFF OF THERE NOW! **

**YOU'RE NO USE TO ANYONE DOUBLE DEAD I HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS AS IT IS**

**I DON'T NEED TO BE WORRYING ABOUT YOU AND YOUR SHIT!**

**Gamzee: Aw ChIlLaX mOtHeRfUcKeR, tHiNgS oVeR hErE aRe WoNdErFuL, yOu ShOuLd tRy It. **

**WoOps HaHa! AlMoSt FeLl OfF oF tHeRE. Its aLrIgHt BrO, I gOt ThIs**

**Karkat: NO! NO! NO!**

**Nepeta: :33 Uh Gamzee, purrhaps you should listen to your meowrail, that doesn't look safe.**

/.../..Meanwhile../.../

You are now Tavros

you make it up to the deck of the boat, as usual, there is Gamzee kicking his legs off the side of the boat, taking swigs of that drink.

You're worried about him on that precarious ledge in that state, but you haven't been able to convice him, its been hard to summon Rufio as of late, maybe because you learned Rufioh exists now, which is mind blowing but he wasn't what you expected him at all.

You shake your head longingly, on this ship Gamzee is your only friend. It hurts to think you'd lose him in the ocean but you cant seem to find a way to convince him that his actions are dangerous.

You turn to the trapdoor and go to walk back inside the ship when you hear a honk and a splash, followed by some shouts far off elsewhere.

**Tavros: gAMZEE!**

**oH GOD OH GOD OH GOD, gAMZEE ARE YOU OKAY**

**Gamzee: ...**

**Karkat: FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK**

**Nepeta: :33 :((**

**Gamzee: It'S aLrIgHt MoThErFuCkErS, jUsT lOsT mY hEaD uNdEr tHe wAvEs fOr A sEcOnD, bUt HeY iTs AlL cOoL, bRo!**

**Karkat: OH SHIT! SOMEONE GET A SEADWELLER! GET FEFERI! GET ERIDAN! GET MEENAH! GET CARLOS!**

**FUCK IT! I'M GOING IN!**

**Nepeta: :33 Karkitty no! **

**Get off of there! You're going to get hurt!**

**Karkat: NEP! LET GO OF MY GOGDAMN ARM! PLEASE! I NEED TO DO THIS!**

**Tavros: oH MAN, gAMZEE!**

**Gamzee: JuSt...HoLdInG oN fOr dEaR...LiFe, No bIg DeAL brO, It's tOtalLy WrbLrbr...iCkeD**

**Karkat: GAMZEE! YOU'RE DROWNING, YOU DUMBASS!**

**NEP, I'M GOING IN!**

**Nepeta: :33- Wait!**

**Tavros: uH, wAIT KARKAT. iM...iM GOING IN...**

**OKAY TAVROS HERE WE GO, yOU CAN DO THIS**

**rUFIO BELIEVES IN YOU**

**Karkat: OH GOG! HE'S DEAD! GAMZEE IS SO DEAD! HE'S DOOMED!**

**Tavros: i...i THINK I CAN HEAR RUFIO'S VOICE**

**Rufioh: Whoa Tavros, 1s that Gamzee 1n there? Aren't you gonna help h1m?**

**Tavros: oKAY!**

/.../..Meanwhile../.../

You are now Nepeta

You bite your lip, holding your breath as Tavros jumps into the water, you would have never guessed he was a good swimmer, well he isn't really, he is freaking out but managing to stay afloat. You watch as he sloshes his way over to a inebriated clownfish whose face contorted in a serene smile as the waves continue to wash over him.

Tavros manages to have a grip on Gamzee and struggles to pull the larger troll back to the ship, Rufioh throws them a floating device attached to a rope and Tavros pulls the drunken, nearly drowned troll out of the water with difficulty.

You sigh in relief and hear Karkitty exhale beside you as well. Karkat slumps down, sitting on the deck with his back leaning against the wood, you sit beside him and try to gauge his mood

**KARKAT: JEGUS! THAT WAS SO FUCKING CLOSE, WHO KNEW THAT GUTLESS GRUB HAD IT IN HIM TO SAVE GAMZEE**

**Nepeta: :33 I'm glad your meowrail is alright Kar...kat**

**Karkat: ...**

**YEAH. ME TOO. **

**IM SORRY FOR FREAKING OUT NEPETA. I WAS AFRAID I MIGHT LOSE HIM. YOU KNOW HOW IT IS WITH MOIRAILS**

**WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF THAT MUSCLEHEAD MOIRAIL OF YOURS WOULD EVER DO ANYTHING SO STUPID, EQUIUS PROBABLY HAS AT LEAST SOME THINKPAN, GAMZEE'S JUST A MINDLESS FUCKASS**

**Nepeta: :33 It's okay Karkat, I understand. I'd fur33l the same way if it was Equius, I'd give my life to save him. And...if you were about to die...**

**KARKAT: YEAH. THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING ONE OF MY MANY PROBLEMS THAT NEVER SEEM TO BE RESOLVED AFTER DEATH.**

**AND IM SORRY THAT I HAVE TO BE A SARCASTIC FUCK ALL THE TIME, BUT I REALLY DO APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN**

**GOG! I'M STILL DOING IT! IM SO SORRY, THIS IS PROBABLY WHY WE'VE NEVER TALKED MUCH UNTIL NOW**

**BY THE WAY, WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO SAY TO ME NEP?**

**Nepeta: :33 ...**

** Well...Fur starters...You shouldn't be so hard on yourself Karkitty. I understand what your trying to say. Your welcome! **

**Um...if you efur n33d me, you can talk to me, fur comfurt**

**...and I was going to say**

**...even befur I died I...**

**Karkat: NEP, JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY...**

**NEPETA: :33 Karkitty...**

**I've always liked you,**

**In a red sort of way...**

**and I've wanted to ask...if you will be my matespurrite?**

You are now Sollux,

You are frozen as you watch the two Eridans smooching it up and another Eridan looks like he's been caught purple handed hosting a self orgy party in his bunk. After your first reaction, there was only one thing left to do

**Sollux: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA**

**Eriidan, thii2 ii2 the 2adde2t 2hiit II've ever seen!**

**And ii've 2een my mate2priit diie twice! Once in liife and then iin double death**

**Thiis, by far, iis ju2t 2o 2ad!**

**2eriously, at least ii've had a mate2priit**

**Eridan 1: Shut up Sol! It's not like I wwant this to happen, I cant control wwhat my other selvves do**

**Sollux: Dude, your face ii2 2o purple riight now, iit2 hiilariious**

**Eridan 1: Sol! Wwhy did you evven come in here? Wwho asked you to barge in here like this?**

**Sollux: Well I wa2 trying two look for my CD wiith all the code2 on iit, II don't know why you would know anythiing about that but I wa2 runniing out of optiion2**

**Eridan: Oh that, I found it on the floor, so I threww the damn thing in the wwater**

**Sollux: YOU**

**DIID**

**WHAT?!**

**Eridan 1: You heard me, lowwblood**

**Sollux: Fii2hbreath, you are 2o going two...**

**...Oh gog, control your2elves Ampora! They're freakiing on top of each other now**

**EridaN 2: MMFFF**

**Eridan 3: Shouldn't wwe wwait until they leavve?**

**Eridan 2: I can't wwait for this, I dont care wwho knowws anenomemore!**

**Eridan3: Oh yes! that fishpun wwas brilliant! Cod, I lovve you!**

**Eridan 1: Fuck! I'm out of here! To think I'm kickin myself out of my owwn quarters because of myselvves!**

**Sollux: 2hiit, I'm 2o out of here!**


	3. LOTOS: Part 3

_This issue features Vriskan, GamTav a.k.a P.B and J, and Erisol. Starting off with the first femxfem of this series_

You are now Kanaya.

You sit on the deck of the boat, legs crossed, while you watch the other trolls mill about the deck doing important things, although you can't quite imagine what else there is to do around here that requires your full attention that would affect the outcome of the voyage. You hear Kankri bark orders.

**Kankri: Excuse me, 6ut I 6elieve I have already 9rdered that every9ne n9t fr9m the same time peri9d 6e 9n separate b9ats, y9u are n9t auth9rized t9 6e here**

**Karkat: FUCK YOU, YOU OBSESSIVE PRICK! NOBODY CARES! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?**

**LOOK! KANAYA'S HERE! FEFERI'S HERE! IT DOESN'T FREAKING MATTER ITS IMPOSSIBLE DON'T YOU GET IT?**

**WE DON'T COME WITH FUCKING TAGS THAT TELL US WHEN WE DIED!**

**AND FOR THE RECORD IT WAS THE OTHER KANKRI THAT SAID THAT, NOT YOU!**

**Kankri: N9w, n9w Karkat. Y9ur rude 9ut6urst is uncalled f9r. I am simply trying to maintain 9rder, the 9ther Kankri is n9t any different fr9m myself I agree with him fully.**

**N9w every9ne, if y9u aren't fr9m this time peri9d I need y9u to exit the ship.**

**Karkat: HEY FUCKASS, WE'RE ALREADY ON SEA WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GONNA POSSIBLY GO? **

A few other trolls joined the argument, you roll your eyes at the nonsense transpiring. You sigh, about to get up and break the ensuing argument, but before you can, Vriska speaks up. A smug look on her face as she leans against the wooden post of the ship, arms crossed.

**Vriska: Just leave it. Those loser are 8ound to solve their pro8lems themselves you know**

**Kanaya: I Highly Doubt The Public Altercation Will Resolve Itself. Step Aside Vriska, This Is An Important Matter In Which I Need To Convene**

**Vriska: Forget your stupid auspistice duties. Don't get your skirt in a 8unch just 8ecause a few dum8asses start a quarrel**

**We're all dead anyways, our pro8lems are never going to a88 even in death so why 8other solving them?**

**Kanaya: That Is Besides The Point, Our Comrades Will Suffer Double Death If I Do Not Intervene**

**Vriska: Let me let you in on a little serket ;;;;)**

**Most of these chumps will dou8le die anyways**

**Even you**

**Even me**

**Kanaya: What Compels You To Propose Such An Intimidating Piece Of Information So Bluntly As If It Were Fact**

**Vriska: 8ecause it is!**

**You might not realize this, 8ut my other self, Captain Mindfang, has found a way to s8ti8 the rage of the vile enemy that is Lord English**

**How you say?**

**Well, has it ever crossed you mind why we're all in ships sailing well ahead of our main selves?**

**Kanaya: Well, It Has Not Crossed My Thinkpan Until This Very Moment. **

**Now That You Have Mentioned It, I Have Accepted This Plan Rather Blindly. Which Is Rather Unusual, Normally I Tend To Rationalize Through A Plan Before I Follow Accordingly**

**I Dont Know Why A Legion Of Deceased Trolls Would Sway Victory In Our Favor**

**Vriska: Ha! Are you kidding me? **

**You actually think we are going to fight Lord English! Thats hilarious!**

**I suppose that is what everyone on this ship is thinking**

**8ut they are all wrong. You know why?**

**Kanaya: Why Is That?**

**Vriska: 8ecause we are all just 88**

**Kanaya: Bait? **

**I'm Sorry. I Don't Quite Understand. Are You Saying We Are Just A Lure, For What?**

**Vriska: I want to lead all these lousy duplic8s forward, so that when English destroys them it will reveal a section of the star map, which will lead up to the treasure**

**Kanaya: What? Vriska, You Can't Be In Proper Possesion Of Your Mental Faculties. **

**Destroy All The Duplicate Selves?! What Nonsense!**

**Vriska: Woah! Calm your tits, girl!**

**Think about it! It's our f8. If we sacrifice oursleves for the greater good, it will be for the 8etter**

**We are talking the future of whole universes here, of millions more lives**

**Surely that sounds logical, does it not?**

**Kanaya: Okay, I Admit, That Does Seem To Make A Persuasive Argument**

**But It Is Still Rather Rash. Have You Ever Considered That Perhaps Some Of These Trolls Are Not Of The Same Opinion?**

**Vriska: Doesn't matter, many of them pro8a8ly wouldn't go through with it if they knew the truth. A small lie for the survival of the universe seems a small price to pay**

**Don't you think?**

**Kanaya: Well Yes,**

**But I Still Don't Quite Understand Why No One Has Yet Questioned Your...**

**Or Rather...Her...**

**The Alternate Vriska's Tactics Or Question Her Plan In Any Way**

**Vriska: Oh that's easy!**

**Mindfang mind powers 8a8y ::::D**

**I've 8een controlling you even as we speak**

**Kanaya: Excuse Me! You've Done What?!**

**This Is Absolutely Unnacceptable! Deception! Then To Top It Off, Mind Control?**

**This Is Unbelievable!**

**Vriska: Haha, you are so sexy when you are furious!**

**Kanaya: I Implore you...**

**Wait, What?**

**Vriska: D::::**

/…Meanwhile…/

You are now Tavros again,

You can describe your emotions as nothing but relieved as you guide a seawater sputtering Gamzee back into the boat. His clothes are soaking wet and his shoes squish about on the floorboards as he walks, leaving a trail of puddles. You would laugh if you werent so tense, because his sopping wet hair hangs over his eyes like a mask.

You help Gamzee back into his bunk and toss him a towel

**Tavros: yOU,, uHHH,, sHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL GAMZEE.**

**tHAT WOULD HAVE REALLY SUCKED. yOU KNOW,, dROWNING**

**Gamzee: YeAh BrOtHeR, WoUlD hAvE BeEn KiCkInG iT wIcKeD iN DoUbLE DeAth**

**Tavros: nO,, tHATS NOT WICKED AT ALL GAMZEE! **

**tHATS PRETTY UNWICKED. lIKE REALLY BAD AND STUFF**

**iT WOULD MAKE ME SAD }:(**

**Gamzee: AwWW TaVbRo! ThErEs No ReAsOn To Be AlL dEPrEsSeD. I'm StIlL hERE**

**Tavros: a...aND IF YOU WON'T EVER BE CAREFUL YOU WONT BE**

**pLEASE GAMZEE,, pROMISE ME YOU WONT DOUBLE DIE**

**Gamzee: HONK!**

**Tavros: wELL, oKAY THEN**

**yOU KNOW, yOU'RE LIKE MY ONLY FRIEND ON THIS SHIP**

**Gamzee: Is ThAt So?**

**SoUnDs LiKe A mIrAcLE tO mE**

**MaN TaVbRo, iF iT wAsN'T fOr YoU i'D bE cHiLliNg At ThE bOtToM oF tHe SeA**

**CoMe HeRe, bRoThEr**

**Tavros: aAAH! gAMZEE! **

**lET GO OFF ME! **

**Gamzee: HeY, I'm JuSt HugGinG tHe ShIt OuTtA yOu**

**ShOwInG mY wIcKeD dEep ApPrEcIaTiOnS **

**Tavros: oH,, uHHH OKAY,, yOUR WELCOME**

**bUT GAMZEE,, yOUR KIND OF**

**sQUEEZING ME**

**a LOT**

**aND YOU STILL HAVEN'T COMPLETELY DRIED YOURSELF OFF YET**

**Gamzee: HeHe, SoRrY bRo!**

**Tavros: nO, iTS FINE I GUESS**

**yOUR JUST**

**a LITTLE BIGGER THAN ME**

**lIKE REALLY BIG**

**Gamzee: (Heh, yOu DoNt KnOw BiG yEt)**

**Tavros: wHAT? }:/**

**Gamzee: HONK! :O)**

**Tavros: wELL...aNYWAYS SEE YOU AROUND**

**Gamzee: HeY, DoNt Go TaVbRo**

**Tavros: aH! gAMZEE!**

**cAN YOU PLEASE LET GO OF MY ARM**

**i WANT TO LEAVE NOW**

**nO OFFENSE TO YOU OR ANYTHING I JUST-**

**Gamzee: DiD I eVeR TeLl YoU yOuR hAiR wAs NiCe**

**Tavros: oH,, uH,,, tHANKS**

**...aND NOW YOU'RE STROKING MY HAIR...oKAY I GUESS**

**Gamzee: DiD I eVeR tElL yOu HoW bEaUtIfUl YoU aRe**

**Tavros: uM...uM...Uh**

**Gamzee: Aw MaN, yOu HaVe tHe CuTeSt BLuSh**

**Tavros: i DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH THIS **

**i FEEL LIKE THIS...iS PRETTY UNUSUAL FOR A FRIENDSHIP**

**...i MEAN, i DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS **

(OoC: LOL, he's like Crona from Soul Eater xD)

**Gamzee: ShOoOoOoOsH! jUsT lEt It HaPpEn**

**Tavros: lET WHAT HAPPEN**

**Gamzee: OuR mIrAcUlOuS loVe, mOtHeRfuCkEr**

/…enough of this…/

You are now Sollux,

You couldn't have absconded from that room quicker. Unfortunately, you didn't check your back when you slammed a door and one of the Amporas followed you in.

**Sollux: Eriidan, ii diidn't 2ay you could come iin here**

**Eridan: Wwell, neither did I, **

**but you barged in anywway, and you had to see that wwretched scene**

**Sollux: Well at lea2t you admiit you're a 2iicko**

**Freaks have two know theiir place**

**Eridan: Fuck you Sol! I'm not saying it wwas a dreadful idea or anythin, just seein it makes me sick**

**Sollux: Oh man! Iit'2 worse than Ii thought!**

**Iif Ii hadn't walked in and 2topped your freak2how you would have joiined iin on that wouldn't you?**

**Eridan: Wwhat? Eww, no wway!**

**Sollux: There are liie2 wriiten all over your face**

**Eridan: Okay fine, but wwouldn't you?**

**I mean, there's no better person than yourself, right?**

**Sollux: No dude, that2 ju2t weiird**

**Eridan: wwhats wweird is your 2hiity li2p**

**Sollux: Iif it's so weiird why are you doiing iit, becau2e you obvviiou2ly knoww iit2 wway more 2uperiior than your 2hiity accent**

**Eridan: If its so shitty, wwhy did you pick it up?!**

**Sollux: Fuck! No I diidn't **

**Eridan: mhmm, I can read the lie all ovver your face**

**Sollux: You can't take 2omethiing I 2aiid to you and use it agaiin2t me!**

**Eridan: I just did**

**Sollux: Shut up fii2hbreath**

**Eridan: Ack!**

**Sol!**

**Sollux: Ii wiill pull tiighter! Don't thiink I wont!**

**Eridan: Sol, let go of my scarf!**

**I. Can't breathe!**

**Sollux: Good!**

You pull on the scarf for a full few seconds, watching that Athole struggle. Suddenly you have a really powerful urge come over you, you kiss that guy on his fishy lipth.


End file.
